It recently occurred to me that with the number of posts I write about the rivalry between my children, it might be easy to conclude that the respectful parenting methods I have adopted to help manage their rivalry over the years have been completely ineffective, otherwise, why would they still rival?
Over the past three years I have made an extraordinary effort to become a respectful parent for the sake of my children. This style of parenting does not come naturally to me and I have certainly had my fair share of slip ups and regressions as I tried and failed to get it right. But I recently figured out where I was going wrong.
Do you wonder in despair whether your children will ever get along? Is it possible for children to shift from sibling rivals to sibling best friends? I believe it is. When we have trust and patience and then look very carefully, we will soon start to see evidence of the emerging bonds between our children as it ever so slowly blossoms and shines through between the storms.
It is completely natural for parents to want their children to get along. I mean, who wouldn’t want their children to be best friends; to look out for each other when we are not there to do so? Sibling relationships are unique and special. They are unlike any other relationship we will have in our lives; however, by its very nature it is not always going to be the idyllic vision we had hoped. Sibling Rivalry, is always going to play a prominent part of most childhoods.
Sibling relationships can be highly volatile but they can also be incredibly special. For many of us with multiple children, it is our dream that they will be best of mates, that they will care for one another, look out for one another and play happily together like all best friends do. The fact is, that at one point this was more than a dream for me, it was an expectation.
When sibling rivalry brings you to your wits end, you know something has to change. But what do you do when you are committed to raising your children with respectful parenting practices? When you believe that punishing children for their poor choices is not the way forward for your family and yet nothing else you have done works, it can make you feel a little desperate. Continue reading