Being a confident leader is vital for our children if we are wanting to use discipline to guide them to develop their own self-control. When we think of confident leaders in our own lives, someone who flies off the handle at every misdemeanor is not an image we would typically conjure nor is someone who shies away from conflict, lest we hurt someone’s feelings. A confident leader is a balance between these two images and is something that, as an emerging respectful parent, has taken me some time to get my head around.
This phase, too, shall pass!
If there is one phrase that has helped me more than anything else on my rollercoaster parenting ride, it is this little one.
This Phase, too, shall pass!
I can’t remember where I first heard it. It might have been whilst trawling through endless respectful parenting forums searching for answers or maybe as I read through the plethora of wise words on Janet Lansbury’s blog. Either way, they have been nothing short of a God send. They are my sanity savers.
My daughter is not giving me a hard time, she is having a hard time. And even if I feel like she IS giving me a hard time, it is important for me to realise that my hard time comes from my own insecurities and triggers from my past. They are my feelings to own and deal with. I am the adult and I must take responsibility for how I handle those feelings.
It is difficult as a parent to hear your child in distress, but what’s even harder is when, despite their obvious emotional turmoil, they refuse your comfort. That rejection can instantly make a parent feel like a failure. Comforting pain and hurt is supposed to be part of our parenting role, isn’t it?
So what’s a parent supposed to do if their child doesn’t want their support when they are feeling low? And more importantly, why on earth would they not want their parent to help them when they are so distressed?
Needles are feared by many people in society, including up to 10% of the adult population. Children, in particular, share a common dislike of needles, often responding to them with significant objection along with screaming and in some cases, utter despair. So, it isn’t any wonder that taking children for their 4 year old needles is not high up there on a parent’s making-memorable-moments lists.
Can a child learn to swim without engaging in regular swimming lessons at a young age?
Before I attempt to answer this question I want to make something VERY clear. I believe learning to swim is an important development for all children. It is completely up to parents how they wish to approach swimming ‘lessons’. I completely understand that for some family circumstances, taking children to formal swim training is an important weekly activity and I am in no way against it. This post has been written to allay the fears of parents that their children will never learn to swim if they do not institute formal swimming lessons at an early age.
Are you the parent of a high-energy child?
It could be argued that all children have high energy levels. Whilst we, the parents, would give anything to curl up in our favourite chair with a good book or even for a doze, our children fight sleep (energetically), and go and go and go as if they are endlessly plugged into the recharge dock.
But not all children are the same when it comes to energy. I know because I have one child who is most definitely high-energy and one who does not seem to possess the same incessant need to be on the go and active from dawn to dusk.
We stopped using time outs in our household about three years ago when we discovered Janet Lansbury’s wonderful blog and began to follow Magda Gerber’s RIE parenting philosophies. Prior to that time, we followed popular advice to enforce a short time out (1 minute per every year of age) to try to steer our spirited and strong-willed child towards more suitable and compliant behaviour.