Tag Archives: Respectful Parenting

Why kids need freedom for uninterrupted play

 *The beautiful playsilks you see in this post were gifted to me by the lovely Sarah’s Silks

Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for childrenplay is serious learning.” – Fred Rogers

Once upon a time, I had no understanding nor appreciation for the message in this quote from Fred Rogers. I remember, as a new mum, thinking that it was my job to teach my children as much as I could to best prepare them for the academics they would require in formal schooling.

I frequently interrupted my children’s play with little nuggets of knowledge and wisdom to help advance their thinking. I gave them toys which recited letters and numbers so that when I wasn’t there to teach them, the toys could do it for me.

Little did I know that my interference in their play was, in actual fact, undermining the learning they were naturally pursuing. By trying to teach them these things through explicit instruction and complex toys, I was not only taking away their opportunity to learn it richly for themselves through their own discoveries, I was robbing them of the type of play time which would lay the foundations for their formal academic learning later in life.

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Learning to Love a Child’s Meltdowns

She sobbed heaving sobs into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her. Her strong emotions spilled out as her tears soaked my shirt. I held her for the longest time; saying nothing, just listening and holding space for her to communicate to me her inner-most thoughts through her upset.

A thought flashed through my mind in that moment about how much I love it when my children have a meltdown. I didn’t always but I have learned over the years that so much good can come from them if I am accepting of the feelings that surface and hear the messages in their screams.

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Becoming a Respectful Parenting Partnership

I was recently in a discussion with a mother who wanted to help her husband understand and adopt a respectful approach to parenting as she had done. His parenting style and hers were in conflict and it was causing some tension in their relationship and confusion for the children. It’s not the first time I’ve had this conversation with a parent and from reading through respectful parenting forums, I have seen that struggling with different parenting styles is an extremely common issue.

It got me thinking about how my husband and I work through our parenting differences whilst still ensuring our children are raised with respect. The move towards respectful parenting following Magda Gerber’s Educaring approach wasn’t an easy or smooth transition for either of us but we have definitely come a long way since bumbling through our early days of parenting.

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RIE Parenting: It’s all about Perspective

When I was first introduced to RIE parenting a little over four years ago, I was grateful to have specific advice for raising my then 18mo and 5mo with respect. I read as much as I could, copied out scripts to use in speaking with my children in certain situations and followed what I saw as “the rules” in order to give my children the wonderful, supportive childhood that most of us could only dream of.

RIE Parenting: It's All about Perspective
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The Rewards of Respectfully Parenting Sibling Rivalry

It recently occurred to me that with the number of posts I write about the rivalry between my children, it might be easy to conclude that the respectful parenting methods I have adopted to help manage their rivalry over the years have been completely ineffective, otherwise, why would they still rival?

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8 Reasons to Look Forward to a Third Baby

I wasn’t entirely sure how to make this announcement. I have been thinking, does anyone really care the third time around? But with a fairly serious scare on the eve of being on the right side of ‘safe’ this week, I realised that I care!!

I am not just adding a third child to our family. I view this child with the same reverence as I viewed my first and then my second just 13 months later. My excitement and anticipation is equal to what I felt when I discovered I was pregnant with my first. I wonder what gifts he (yes, I have boy vibes for this baby, but of course, will be happy either way) will bring to the world and I can’t wait to watch him grow from birth, confident in his amazing capabilities.

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Respectful Parenting: Where I Was Going Wrong

Over the past three years I have made an extraordinary effort to become a respectful parent for the sake of my children. This style of parenting does not come naturally to me and I have certainly had my fair share of slip ups and regressions as I tried and failed to get it right. But I recently figured out where I was going wrong.

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Snippets of RIE – What Respectful Parenting Can Look Like

Snippets of RIEIt is Day 8 of RIE Foundations today and as I begin anticipating the end of the course I am left with mixed emotions. I feel complete and utter sadness that I will be leaving this safe RIE bubble that has been created for me by our facilitator, Deborah Carlisle Solomon and her intern Michelle along with the 7 other women who have together made this experience an altogether enriching one. But I also feel excitement at what lies ahead when I return to my homeland with newly acquired understandings and a massive spring in my step.

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